Why I Pray

Every time I leave the house, I prepare myself to die.

With every attack, whether it be by knife or bomb or car, I realize how close I am to death when I leave my house. Adults and children have been murdered at concerts, church services, in schools, airports, and movie theaters. There is no safe place.

But there's no fun in staying home in order to be safe. So I just embrace the idea that I could fall victim to any crazy person who decides to strike on any day. I try to live every day with few regrets, lots of intact relationships, and courage in the case that this day is my last.

Who knows what the source of mass killings are. Would attacks decrease if gun regulation changed? If all Muslims were banned? If there were metal detectors at every door? I don't know. This is not a political message I'm trying to share. This isn't even really a solution. This is about how I deal with a fallen world.

I don't know about you, but I am underwhelmed with the quality of human beings lately.

But what can you do? Certainly parents shouldn't shoulder the blame of their child going on a mass killing spree. I "believe that that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression" and vise versa (Article of Faith, 2). Advanced technology in weaponry cannot very well be the culprit either, because people have killed in all manner of ways. Could possession be a thing? I disagree: everyone has the inherent ability to choose for themselves.

Freedom of choice is hard for me to grapple with. I wish I could say that I could force everyone around me to be decent human beings and prevent them from becoming murderers, but I can't. If anybody had that sort of influence on somebody, no bad things would happen, or many more bad things would happen. Not even God can obstruct someone's agency.

I think this is a main reason why people might not believe in God. Possible arguments could be
"If God exists, why does He let so many bad things happen?"
"If God is so all-powerful, why doesn't He stop people from hurting other people."

Agency.


Just like our biological parents can't force us to do something, neither can our Heavenly Father because we have the ability to make our very own decisions.

So as much as I'd like to force murderers and rapists to be kind instead, I can't.

This is why I pray. I do not believe that God can change the behaviors of anybody else, because of the gift of agency, so I do not pray to change others. I pray to keep myself in check.

At the end of the day, that's all I can control.

I can't control whether a gun wielding psychopath will enter my church and shoot everyone inside. But I can be assured that I will never be that psychopath.

I pray to not become a psychopath.

Hey, if you're reading this and you don't pray, that's cool. Prayer might not work for everybody. But there are many, many things you can do today to prevent dirt baggery. It's up to you to decide the best medicine to fight this disease. Again, your actions will not result in lower dirt baggery in those around you, but only in yourself. Only you can prevent dirt baggery in yourself. Don't get discouraged. You have complete control over yourself.

One less dirt bag in the world is better than one more. Power to you.


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