Open Letter to Louis C.K. on Eternity

Louis C.K.:

I can't imagine how hard it is to have all of your most private and personal experiences made public. Many other men and women have the same experiences but will never lose their career over it. If you are guilty by public opinion for the rest of your life, I am sad for you.

My name is Jenny, and I'm a married university student. I watched your Netflix special earlier this year and laughed a lot. It was your joke on marriages that last forever that provoked this blog. You said that you "looked it up" and that "no religion teaches" that there is such a thing as a marriage that persists postmortem. I want you to know that you missed one religion in your research: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You might know us as the Mormons.

Salt Lake City, Utah Temple

My husband and I were married in an LDS temple. We believe that as long as we are faithful, our marriage will be eternal. We would agree with you when you said: "Marriage is a big deal."

We've been married for three months. I already know what you're thinking. To quote you, you might think our marriage "just didn't get s****y yet." I understand where you're coming from.

The number one problem LDS couples deal with is an "unrealistic expectation of marriage or spouse." This is according to a study done by Dr. Robert Stahmann at Brigham Young University. I would agree with you that most of us Mormons do not understand how hard marriage is before we get married. I don't think anybody does. Could you say that you did? Anybody who tries to preemptively expect the "cruddy" is labeled a pessimist. So what is better? To "hold on to each other as tightly as you can and jump in the pool together" or to be pessimistic about the entire institution?

I can imagine that if you're a person who believes that people never change, and you will never forgive or forget, the idea of an eternal marriage is repulsive. However, I am a Christian. I really do believe that Jesus Christ, the Son of God suffered for everybody's sins. Our scripture, the Book of Mormon, is a supplemental guide to the Holy Bible. It explains Christ's atonement in greater detail:

“And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

 Now the Spirit knoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according to the flesh that he might take upon him the sins of his people, that he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance.” Alma 7:11-13, page 225

According to this supplement, Christ did not just suffer for our sins, but out “pains and afflictions and temptations . . . infirmities . . . [and] transgressions.” Christ has felt the pain of having one’s hands and wrists and feet nailed to a cross, but also the pain of heartbreak and disappointment. He understands what it is like to be afflicted with financialproblems, extra-marital affairs, or physical/mental ailments. Jesus Christ was perfect, meaning He never committed a sin, yet He knows what it is like to be tempted to cheat, quit, and lie. Christ is our Savior. In order to be an empathetic Savior He had to understand our struggles.

He knows what it’s like to feel betrayed and He asks us to forgive, just like He did. (Luke 23:34) He knows what it’s like to have an incompetent companion, and asks us to love and include them anyway, just like He did. (John 16:64)

Thanks to Christ, we can leave our own pasts behind, and try to be better. There’s no reason I should feel guilty for the mistakes I make regarding my husband after I have apologized and tried to make it better. Christ has already paid the ultimate price for all the hurt, disappointment, and frustration I arouse in him. It helps that we both believe in a Savior that understands us and forgives us at the same time.

We feel confident together. Our Savior has loved us through all our sins, and we are trying to be like Him when we love each other through our own. We can forgive and forget. We can improve. We can be happily, eternally married.

I would agree with you that “[Love] is the best part of life.”